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My wife and her sisters are very close. They talk almost every other day, especially during the holidays. They'll call to find out what the k**s want ...or Christmas or to let us know who we have in the family grab bag. Usually Leslie will say that she hasn't been laid in a while and I'll immediately offer my services. This gets met by stoney silence or nervous laughter on the other end. I'll then hand the phone over to my wife. Well, this time she shocked me by asking me how soon I could be. “Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday,” she says.The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday.“I can’t,” says the woman. “That’s the only night I’m home with my husband.”Nomenclature“Mom,” he said, “the other boys at school are using two words I don’t understand. Can you tell me what they mean?”“Certainly,” Mom said. “What are they?”“Pussy and bitch.” Mom inhaled sharply, but recovered quickly.“Oh, that’s easy,” she said. “A pussy is a cat, like our little Chico. A bitch is a female dog, like. More

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