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"Will you do the dishes for me?" Weelllll," she drawled as she ate. "What's in it for me?" What do you want?" I asked, quickly getting down to the ser...ous bargaining.She eyed me, and I could tell she was measuring how serious this was to me. "How about you have to go around naked all day tomorrow - from the time you get up until you go to bed?"I thought this through, wondering what the catch was. I was going to have to be naked at school all day anyway. Here I was sitting at the table naked. If you were Scottish you could say that Scotland was the arse-end of a cow; if you weren’t then you might get a Glasgow kiss for saying it. Even if Manchester United lost 6:0 to Accrington Stanley; telling a fan they played crap could end up you needing a restorative dentist. Suggesting that the British Empire hadn’t been a force for good, or that Britain hadn’t won the war, or that ... well there was a long list; all countries were the same.He would stand silent at the back in what he hoped. More

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