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“I, um, also wanted to apologize. My brother’s an asshole. He has that rockstar syndrome and it’s ... something.”He shrugged, waving it off. A...ex didn’t seem to be much for words, so I continued.“Anyway, I wanted to thank you, apologize to you, and then ask a favor.”“What’s that?”“It’s when you ask someone for their help with something.”The quip was out of my mouth before I could stop it. I cringed, but Alex started laughing again.“Yeah, all right. So kind of—what’d’ja call it, fay-vurr—are you. .. bit of a nightmare though, she's really c***dish.”“What do you expect from an 18-year-old?” I laughed. “How old are you?”“32. I was born on Christmas Day 1982. I am the Brown Jesus!”“I was born in July 1983 so you're six months older than me.”“Wow. You have really nice tits you know. How come they're not all saggy like my mum's tits?”“Maybe because I haven't had k**s yet?! Dickhead!”Initially he told me he was from Kabul but that turned out to be a joke. In reality he was born in Leicester. More

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